Hopeless Holidays

So I’ve been waiting a couple weeks to hear back from my lawyer on whether or not I could take Christmas gifts for my family to my Wife’s lawyer since I cannot send them directly to them without violating the protective order. Since I haven’t heard anything back I can only assume that the answer is no. I know he left a message with the other Attorney 2 weeks ago so that is pretty frustrating. Either way I will just have the gifts wrapped up for whenever I am able to see them/communicate with them again. Talked this over with my therapist yesterday and she thinks that’s a good plan of action if I dont hear from my wife or her lawyer before then.

I know my wife doesn’t want anything from me but I did notice that for whatever reason autopay on the electric bill stopped and they had issued a disconnect notice for the house. I was online preparing to take care of the electric bill for my apartment when I noticed it so I went ahead and paid the electric bill for their location since it looked like it hadn’t been paid in a few months. It helped me feel good that I was able to do SOMETHING for them even though they probably won’t even realize it. Paying the electric bill is the least I can do.

Since I started taking Wellbutrin I have been getting extremely vivid dreams from time to time and they mostly deal with my relationship with my wife and my kids. Each time the dream consists of some situation happening, something in which I would normally be able to be there for my family, but I can’t and I constantly wake up scared.

Anyways, more to follow soon. If not I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.


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