If anyone reading this really knew me they would think that I am a monster. The ways in which I’ve devastated my family is truly unfathomable. I’ve read so many books, watched so many videos on infidelity and none of them even touch the surface of the way that I’ve destroyed my wife and family. I’ve eroded ever ounce of trust that has been given to me.
Through all of this my wife has shown such grace mercy and compassion. More than I deserved for all of the things that I’ve done, for all the things I’ve shown that I am capable, especially given that I continue to screw up in so many ways further eroding her attempts to trust me.
My wife is a saint. No one in their right mind would stand by a man like me but she continues to do so. For that I am truly lucky.
This diagnosis has helped me get the medication that I need to level out my mood swings but there is so much more to my behavior than just bipolar. Sexual addiction and just being an overall cheating bastard come to mind when I think of what else I have to face.
The truth is the medication is just a start. I’ve got to change everything about myself and the way my mind works. I owe it to her, I owe it to our family.